When I was in the seventh grade, I was selected to be in the fancy all-girls’ concert choir at my school.  It was the only redeeming quality of middle school for me.  I had to wear a bright teal dress with a lace collar, and even that didn’t stop me from loving every minute of it.  For our Christmas concert, we performed, as the last number, the Hallelujah Chorus.  It was angelic.  The power built, and the crowd came to their feet, and it was all I could do to keep from weeping on the spot.  In fact, my voice cracked on the very last “…jah”.  I just couldn’t hold it together.  It was the first time I remember being truly moved by music.

And now, I’m 23, and 13 weeks pregnant, and I just watched this and wept.  You might not have the same reaction, if you’re not so into music, or if you’re not pregnant and hormonal, or if you have no heart.

You know the question.  ”What would you do with your life if money were no object?”  You know what I’d do?  I’d sing in a choir.

There’s never been a time when I felt more alive than when singing in a choir.  I can’t explain what it does to me.  I hope you know the feeling.   Maybe you get it in a different way, but I hope you know it.  Total elation, fingertips to toes.  Blood-pumping, gut-wrenching, heart-stirring elation.

And that’s my new year’s resolution.  Sing.  Be moved.  Weep.

Oh, and have a child.

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Abby got a Spy Kit for Christmas, and it delighted me to watch her unpack all the elements. I still aim to find joy in small things: a barely-working compass, a disappearing pen, and messages coded so secretly that only a red lens reveals the true message. I felt disillusioned when I learned how to read the text without the red gels.

This picture is of our family friend, Jared Wright, a fully grown man who works at a bank.

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If you want to make any night a great night during these icy nights, spend fifteen minutes and sing some Christmas songs in public. Mary Ann and I and a group of about twenty sang songs after church tonight around Market Square. It seemed as if a night where living mattered—after a wonderful Christmas service in the company of great friends—got a whipped cream topping (I would add a maraschino cherry, but they’re not Mary Ann’s favorite).

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